Wednesday 16 February 2011

Apple branches out with their revolutionary new Apple Water



Scoopertino reports on the latest development from Steve Jobs' marketing machine, Apple Water. Clean. Simple. Wet. The revolutionary bottle of water incorporates such features as QuarterTwist technology, allowing the bottle to be opened with a maximum of 90 degrees wrist movement; Molecular Perfection, with literally twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygen atoms.

For the connoisseur who doesn't mind paying that bit extra for Apple innovation and design.

96 comments:

  1. I'm sorry, WHAT?
    Apple is trying to make our water now? is Google going to compete?

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  2. Joke, right? I like the "with literally twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygen atoms"

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  3. haha this isn't an onion news story is it? whatever it is they should have called it Apple Juice....man I crack myself up sometimes

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  4. "iWater"
    Wow I'm so clever, haha.

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  5. haha brillaint. it'll cost £40 a bottle and once it runs out of water you wont be able to fill it up again.

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  6. seriously......i hope this is a joke..

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  7. Clean. Simple. Wet.
    AHAHHAHAHAHA, good one :D

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  8. Old joke is old, but sadly still relevant.

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  9. Haha well, I wouldn't be surprised if Apple actually did this...

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  10. I'll be sure to get this as soon as possible...and drink thousands of dollars worth... :D

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  11. The Apple Water pro looks more like my piece of cake.

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  12. A nice persiflage of apple´s product strategy.

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  13. I only drink microsoft water. It doesn't last as long, but I can piss in it if I want to. I don't have to take it back to Apple to get Steve Jobs to piss in it.

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  14. That bottle design looks great.

    But they should forget about this and start actually selling apples already

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  15. Hahahaha, I wouldn't be surprised if it were actually true

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  16. Haha so accurate. Freaking Apple

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  17. and like the Ipad and old i phone generations :
    no camera
    no USB port
    no 3gs
    no changeable memory cards
    no mms
    :D

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  18. Damn they think of everything don't they. What else can they possibly think of next geez

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  19. i love you apple you complete me

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  20. I think the could even sell THIS...

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  21. Shhhh...you're only giving them ideas.

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  22. This is just ridiculous!
    Now Nokia should start selling condoms, and Google should start selling fertilizers

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  23. I lol'd, but i wouldn't doubt this

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  24. wtf? is this some kind of joke?

    apple just lost the litle respect i had left for them...

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  25. I never liked apple

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  26. There's not a single thing in the universe that Apple can't make money out of...

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  27. I love Apple, even though people make fun of them lol. For idiots in here, this is a joke.

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  28. Am I the only one disappointed to find out it's not apple flavoured?

    Funny stuff though, will follow.

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  29. Haha love it

    Twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygens. What would that be? H..two...ohh

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  30. I'm not sure if this is a joke or not, but if not, I hope this happens so they can fail miserably.

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  31. lol, next thing you know they'll be suing aquafina and dasani for patent violations

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  32. I will not be surprised it that is true,good post.

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  33. Never doubt Steve Jobs, he can for sure develop a cute and smart way to suck your money =D

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  34. apparently they're doing a light weight nano variety (dehydrated variety)

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  35. good post
    http://gadafiny-club.blogspot.com/

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  36. It will sell too, I can guarantee it.

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  37. It's a joke. They would charge about 15 bucks for it if it were real tho

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  38. if they made this it would sell

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  39. hi, nice blog, followin you

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  40. woah this is very wack, would you drink it?

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  41. I have a cousin who works at Apple, I'll ask him what he knows about this

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  42. yo thanks for the comment and im still holding out for the apple toilet, followed

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  43. You wouldn't be able to twist off the cap unless you synced it to itunes for an hour.

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  44. Steve jobs is a technical hitler

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  45. Wasn't this originally from Cracked?

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  46. no thanks, i prefer my flouridated tap.

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  47. mmm im thirsty already haha

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  48. Mother of God...they have to be stopped.

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  49. Drinking it instantly makes you into a hipster douche bag!

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  50. this is getting crazy...they ran out of ideas?
    i knew when they descended to add playboy in ipad as apps.
    Next what? sanitarypads for women??

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  51. Oh god I hope this is just a joke. Knowing me, I would probably buy one just for laughs.

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  52. "'Ok guys, I've got a great idea......Let's make water! We'll sell the same water, but with an aesthetically beautiful design and we'll sell it for double the price!' 'but Mr. Jobs, will that sell?' 'OF COURSE, BITCH! WE'RE APPLE, THAT'S WHAT WE DO!'"

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  53. this all sounds well and good but how does it feel when it exits the jimmy?

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  54. That sounds hilarious. Funny post.

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  55. Iwater...Nice...I cant wait to hop on the trendy bandwagon and purchase some!

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  56. What a bargain!

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  57. LOL apparently this is old but works soo well. I'm sure some people would actually buy this shit xD.

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  58. Hahah! I would buy it! Just kidding. This is soo amazing, and true lol.

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  59. Haha some people would actually believe it!

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  60. Good sense of humor . Haha man I like it . Simple clean wet .

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  61. and suddenly
    half the world drinks apple water

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  62. Is this for real? I mean bottled water is obviously highly profitable, but Apple does not have core competencies in this market...

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  63. Also, should we take this as a sign that Apple is running out of ideas in their real market? I wonder how the market responded to this...

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  64. Wowwwwww, all i got to say lol

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  65. Anything with the Apple Brand! Admittedly I almost thought it was genuine, knowing Apple.

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  66. Far better than Windows water. That shit is riddled with viruses.

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  67. New WinWater 7 of Apples iWater...I love it.

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  68. try now the new microsoft lemonade, its better than apple's water

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  69. Real buisness. I wonder if it will half filled or just double prized.

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  70. Love the twice the hydrogen of oxygen. Good stuff.

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  71. Lol. I knew this had to be satire. Very clever. No way Apple, a company with an environmently safe label, would make bottled water.

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  72. props to whomever created the "ad" damn nice work.
    following m8

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  73. sad thing is that would actually sell

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  74. Appel is gonna dominate the world, one product at a time.

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  75. I wonder how many hipsters are looking this up right now...

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  76. Nah, don't buy the Apple water. Stick with Microsoft. Although their water is a bit salty and tastes like dirt sometimes...

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  77. ...Joke right? Gotta be sure cuz it wouldn't suprise me these days lol

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