Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Apple branches out with their revolutionary new Apple Water



Scoopertino reports on the latest development from Steve Jobs' marketing machine, Apple Water. Clean. Simple. Wet. The revolutionary bottle of water incorporates such features as QuarterTwist technology, allowing the bottle to be opened with a maximum of 90 degrees wrist movement; Molecular Perfection, with literally twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygen atoms.

For the connoisseur who doesn't mind paying that bit extra for Apple innovation and design.
Posted by Stuff that matters, stuff that don't at 07:38
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96 comments:

  1. elexerdelex16 February 2011 at 07:43

    I'm sorry, WHAT?
    Apple is trying to make our water now? is Google going to compete?

    ReplyDelete
  2. GGMP16 February 2011 at 07:48

    Joke, right? I like the "with literally twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygen atoms"

    ReplyDelete
  3. hearmeroar16 February 2011 at 07:48

    haha this isn't an onion news story is it? whatever it is they should have called it Apple Juice....man I crack myself up sometimes

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  4. GamerGanz16 February 2011 at 07:51

    "iWater"
    Wow I'm so clever, haha.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Improve your Vocab!16 February 2011 at 08:03

    haha brillaint. it'll cost £40 a bottle and once it runs out of water you wont be able to fill it up again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Donkote16 February 2011 at 08:07

    seriously......i hope this is a joke..

    ReplyDelete
  7. murz9016 February 2011 at 08:09

    Clean. Simple. Wet.
    AHAHHAHAHAHA, good one :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. Trelin16 February 2011 at 08:11

    Old joke is old, but sadly still relevant.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ComicRelief16 February 2011 at 08:15

    Haha well, I wouldn't be surprised if Apple actually did this...

    ReplyDelete
  10. nikoli16 February 2011 at 08:20

    I'll be sure to get this as soon as possible...and drink thousands of dollars worth... :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fang16 February 2011 at 08:27

    The Apple Water pro looks more like my piece of cake.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Pokemon Master-er16 February 2011 at 08:34

    Wait, what?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Damian16 February 2011 at 08:55

    A nice persiflage of apple´s product strategy.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Adolph Gingerhorn16 February 2011 at 08:58

    I only drink microsoft water. It doesn't last as long, but I can piss in it if I want to. I don't have to take it back to Apple to get Steve Jobs to piss in it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Revi16 February 2011 at 09:01

    That bottle design looks great.

    But they should forget about this and start actually selling apples already

    ReplyDelete
  16. Layman Researcher16 February 2011 at 09:03

    Hahahaha, I wouldn't be surprised if it were actually true

    ReplyDelete
  17. Showtek16 February 2011 at 09:39

    Haha so accurate. Freaking Apple

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  18. Peter Hildebrand16 February 2011 at 09:50

    Good parody.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Patwa16 February 2011 at 09:53

    iwater ,lol

    ReplyDelete
  20. poups16 February 2011 at 10:19

    and like the Ipad and old i phone generations :
    no camera
    no USB port
    no 3gs
    no changeable memory cards
    no mms
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  21. Josh Jackson16 February 2011 at 10:21

    Damn they think of everything don't they. What else can they possibly think of next geez

    ReplyDelete
  22. grace16 February 2011 at 10:36

    i love you apple you complete me

    ReplyDelete
  23. temptation16 February 2011 at 10:46

    I think the could even sell THIS...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous16 February 2011 at 10:46

    Shhhh...you're only giving them ideas.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Game16 February 2011 at 10:47

    This is just ridiculous!
    Now Nokia should start selling condoms, and Google should start selling fertilizers

    ReplyDelete
  26. mtn16 February 2011 at 10:55

    hahaha got it ;)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Bassislv16 February 2011 at 10:56

    I lol'd, but i wouldn't doubt this

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  28. Dr. Grim16 February 2011 at 11:15

    lol, that just might sell XD

    ReplyDelete
  29. D.B.16 February 2011 at 11:25

    wtf? is this some kind of joke?

    apple just lost the litle respect i had left for them...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous16 February 2011 at 11:31

    I never liked apple

    ReplyDelete
  31. PekkaK16 February 2011 at 11:32

    There's not a single thing in the universe that Apple can't make money out of...

    ReplyDelete
  32. seankenny0816 February 2011 at 11:33

    I love Apple, even though people make fun of them lol. For idiots in here, this is a joke.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Chocolatecoins1416 February 2011 at 11:42

    Bleh. Apple.

    Following.

    ReplyDelete
  34. eFed News16 February 2011 at 11:51

    Am I the only one disappointed to find out it's not apple flavoured?

    Funny stuff though, will follow.

    ReplyDelete
  35. gcphillips116 February 2011 at 11:57

    Haha love it

    Twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygens. What would that be? H..two...ohh

    ReplyDelete
  36. Ramsay16 February 2011 at 12:08

    I'm not sure if this is a joke or not, but if not, I hope this happens so they can fail miserably.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Basik16 February 2011 at 12:13

    lol, next thing you know they'll be suing aquafina and dasani for patent violations

    ReplyDelete
  38. Brendan16 February 2011 at 12:25

    uhh im confused

    ReplyDelete
  39. shadi16 February 2011 at 12:41

    I will not be surprised it that is true,good post.

    ReplyDelete
  40. F16 February 2011 at 12:46

    Never doubt Steve Jobs, he can for sure develop a cute and smart way to suck your money =D

    ReplyDelete
  41. G16 February 2011 at 12:50

    apparently they're doing a light weight nano variety (dehydrated variety)

    ReplyDelete
  42. GADAFINY16 February 2011 at 13:05

    good post
    http://gadafiny-club.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  43. Chris C.16 February 2011 at 13:21

    It will sell too, I can guarantee it.

    ReplyDelete
  44. donga500016 February 2011 at 13:39

    It's a joke. They would charge about 15 bucks for it if it were real tho

    ReplyDelete
  45. Linksss16 February 2011 at 13:42

    if they made this it would sell

    ReplyDelete
  46. Matt12316 February 2011 at 14:15

    Haaa thats pretty insane

    ReplyDelete
  47. YEP, GEDDON!16 February 2011 at 14:21

    Supporin'

    ReplyDelete
  48. Rawr16 February 2011 at 14:34

    hi, nice blog, followin you

    ReplyDelete
  49. Meghan Moran16 February 2011 at 14:44

    woah this is very wack, would you drink it?

    ReplyDelete
  50. Bobby16 February 2011 at 15:12

    I have a cousin who works at Apple, I'll ask him what he knows about this

    ReplyDelete
  51. Teal16 February 2011 at 15:22

    yo thanks for the comment and im still holding out for the apple toilet, followed

    ReplyDelete
  52. Rico16 February 2011 at 15:22

    You wouldn't be able to twist off the cap unless you synced it to itunes for an hour.

    ReplyDelete
  53. ukwrestler2316 February 2011 at 15:26

    Steve jobs is a technical hitler

    ReplyDelete
  54. Roy16 February 2011 at 15:29

    Wasn't this originally from Cracked?

    ReplyDelete
  55. Anonymouse16 February 2011 at 15:46

    no thanks, i prefer my flouridated tap.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Anonymous16 February 2011 at 15:50

    mmm im thirsty already haha

    ReplyDelete
  57. Anonymous16 February 2011 at 15:57

    ahahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  58. Warlaw16 February 2011 at 16:42

    Mother of God...they have to be stopped.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Galfraz16 February 2011 at 17:04

    Drinking it instantly makes you into a hipster douche bag!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Anonymous16 February 2011 at 17:09

    this is getting crazy...they ran out of ideas?
    i knew when they descended to add playboy in ipad as apps.
    Next what? sanitarypads for women??

    ReplyDelete
  61. AuditorAwakening16 February 2011 at 17:10

    Oh god I hope this is just a joke. Knowing me, I would probably buy one just for laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Unknown16 February 2011 at 17:13

    "'Ok guys, I've got a great idea......Let's make water! We'll sell the same water, but with an aesthetically beautiful design and we'll sell it for double the price!' 'but Mr. Jobs, will that sell?' 'OF COURSE, BITCH! WE'RE APPLE, THAT'S WHAT WE DO!'"

    ReplyDelete
  63. tune a fish16 February 2011 at 17:14

    this all sounds well and good but how does it feel when it exits the jimmy?

    ReplyDelete
  64. RedHeadRob16 February 2011 at 17:30

    That sounds hilarious. Funny post.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Vegatron16 February 2011 at 17:38

    Iwater...Nice...I cant wait to hop on the trendy bandwagon and purchase some!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Anonymous16 February 2011 at 18:14

    What a bargain!

    ReplyDelete
  67. Tasty16 February 2011 at 18:20

    LOL apparently this is old but works soo well. I'm sure some people would actually buy this shit xD.

    ReplyDelete
  68. swagdigital16 February 2011 at 19:12

    Hahah! I would buy it! Just kidding. This is soo amazing, and true lol.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Anonymous16 February 2011 at 19:13

    Haha some people would actually believe it!

    ReplyDelete
  70. Bulk Up Baba16 February 2011 at 19:27

    Good sense of humor . Haha man I like it . Simple clean wet .

    ReplyDelete
  71. Leviuqse16 February 2011 at 20:01

    and suddenly
    half the world drinks apple water

    ReplyDelete
  72. Bear_Shark16 February 2011 at 20:17

    Holy shit! This is cool.

    ReplyDelete
  73. lovebloggin16 February 2011 at 20:29

    hahahahah! the "cup" design

    ReplyDelete
  74. Scott16 February 2011 at 20:39

    Is this for real? I mean bottled water is obviously highly profitable, but Apple does not have core competencies in this market...

    ReplyDelete
  75. Scott16 February 2011 at 20:41

    Also, should we take this as a sign that Apple is running out of ideas in their real market? I wonder how the market responded to this...

    ReplyDelete
  76. Uklaxer3816 February 2011 at 20:43

    Wowwwwww, all i got to say lol

    ReplyDelete
  77. Anonymous16 February 2011 at 21:37

    Anything with the Apple Brand! Admittedly I almost thought it was genuine, knowing Apple.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Les16 February 2011 at 23:47

    Far better than Windows water. That shit is riddled with viruses.

    ReplyDelete
  79. BlowingInTheWind17 February 2011 at 00:31

    lol funny stuff xD

    ReplyDelete
  80. Luke Parker17 February 2011 at 01:10

    New WinWater 7 of Apples iWater...I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  81. AstralReality17 February 2011 at 01:14

    apple juice, heh

    ReplyDelete
  82. Igneel2117 February 2011 at 02:22

    try now the new microsoft lemonade, its better than apple's water

    ReplyDelete
  83. Scanon17 February 2011 at 03:05

    Real buisness. I wonder if it will half filled or just double prized.

    ReplyDelete
  84. thorxlive17 February 2011 at 03:53

    Love the twice the hydrogen of oxygen. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  85. LiveTheBoss17 February 2011 at 04:45

    Lol. I knew this had to be satire. Very clever. No way Apple, a company with an environmently safe label, would make bottled water.

    ReplyDelete
  86. kkazzamm17 February 2011 at 05:44

    props to whomever created the "ad" damn nice work.
    following m8

    ReplyDelete
  87. Anonymous.17 February 2011 at 06:01

    Please be a troll.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Brendan McCarty17 February 2011 at 07:10

    can you jailbreak it?

    ReplyDelete
  89. MMAblogguy17 February 2011 at 09:09

    sad thing is that would actually sell

    ReplyDelete
  90. Anonymous17 February 2011 at 09:20

    Appel is gonna dominate the world, one product at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Wobbles17 February 2011 at 09:58

    I wonder how many hipsters are looking this up right now...

    ReplyDelete
  92. Blops Killer17 February 2011 at 10:24

    It should be called iWater

    ReplyDelete
  93. Lhosreiff17 February 2011 at 11:44

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  94. Pop Tart Fine Dining17 February 2011 at 12:09

    Nah, don't buy the Apple water. Stick with Microsoft. Although their water is a bit salty and tastes like dirt sometimes...

    ReplyDelete
  95. Paranormal Explorer17 February 2011 at 13:00

    ...Joke right? Gotta be sure cuz it wouldn't suprise me these days lol

    ReplyDelete
  96. teampl4yer20 February 2011 at 09:47

    iFluid!

    ReplyDelete

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