Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Apple branches out with their revolutionary new Apple Water



Scoopertino reports on the latest development from Steve Jobs' marketing machine, Apple Water. Clean. Simple. Wet. The revolutionary bottle of water incorporates such features as QuarterTwist technology, allowing the bottle to be opened with a maximum of 90 degrees wrist movement; Molecular Perfection, with literally twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygen atoms.

For the connoisseur who doesn't mind paying that bit extra for Apple innovation and design.

103 comments:

  1. I'm sorry, WHAT?
    Apple is trying to make our water now? is Google going to compete?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Joke, right? I like the "with literally twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygen atoms"

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha this isn't an onion news story is it? whatever it is they should have called it Apple Juice....man I crack myself up sometimes

    ReplyDelete
  4. "iWater"
    Wow I'm so clever, haha.

    ReplyDelete
  5. haha brillaint. it'll cost £40 a bottle and once it runs out of water you wont be able to fill it up again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. seriously......i hope this is a joke..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Clean. Simple. Wet.
    AHAHHAHAHAHA, good one :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. Old joke is old, but sadly still relevant.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Haha well, I wouldn't be surprised if Apple actually did this...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'll be sure to get this as soon as possible...and drink thousands of dollars worth... :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Apple Water pro looks more like my piece of cake.

    ReplyDelete
  12. A nice persiflage of apple´s product strategy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I only drink microsoft water. It doesn't last as long, but I can piss in it if I want to. I don't have to take it back to Apple to get Steve Jobs to piss in it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. That bottle design looks great.

    But they should forget about this and start actually selling apples already

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hahahaha, I wouldn't be surprised if it were actually true

    ReplyDelete
  16. Haha so accurate. Freaking Apple

    ReplyDelete
  17. Haha they would. And arrogant douchebags would buy it too.

    ReplyDelete
  18. and like the Ipad and old i phone generations :
    no camera
    no USB port
    no 3gs
    no changeable memory cards
    no mms
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  19. Damn they think of everything don't they. What else can they possibly think of next geez

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wow, what will Apple think of next. I'm hoping they design a vibrator modelled on Steve Job's penis. That way he can literally fuck his customers in the arse.

    ReplyDelete
  21. uhm, if this is true, Apple officially sucks

    ReplyDelete
  22. i love you apple you complete me

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think the could even sell THIS...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Shhhh...you're only giving them ideas.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is just ridiculous!
    Now Nokia should start selling condoms, and Google should start selling fertilizers

    ReplyDelete
  26. I lol'd, but i wouldn't doubt this

    ReplyDelete
  27. wtf? is this some kind of joke?

    apple just lost the litle respect i had left for them...

    ReplyDelete
  28. There's not a single thing in the universe that Apple can't make money out of...

    ReplyDelete
  29. I love Apple, even though people make fun of them lol. For idiots in here, this is a joke.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Am I the only one disappointed to find out it's not apple flavoured?

    Funny stuff though, will follow.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Haha love it

    Twice as many hydrogen atoms as oxygens. What would that be? H..two...ohh

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'm not sure if this is a joke or not, but if not, I hope this happens so they can fail miserably.

    ReplyDelete
  33. lol, next thing you know they'll be suing aquafina and dasani for patent violations

    ReplyDelete
  34. I will not be surprised it that is true,good post.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Never doubt Steve Jobs, he can for sure develop a cute and smart way to suck your money =D

    ReplyDelete
  36. apparently they're doing a light weight nano variety (dehydrated variety)

    ReplyDelete
  37. good post
    http://gadafiny-club.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  38. It will sell too, I can guarantee it.

    ReplyDelete
  39. It's a joke. They would charge about 15 bucks for it if it were real tho

    ReplyDelete
  40. if they made this it would sell

    ReplyDelete
  41. hi, nice blog, followin you

    ReplyDelete
  42. woah this is very wack, would you drink it?

    ReplyDelete
  43. I have a cousin who works at Apple, I'll ask him what he knows about this

    ReplyDelete
  44. yo thanks for the comment and im still holding out for the apple toilet, followed

    ReplyDelete
  45. You wouldn't be able to twist off the cap unless you synced it to itunes for an hour.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Steve jobs is a technical hitler

    ReplyDelete
  47. These apple people are damn smart!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Wasn't this originally from Cracked?

    ReplyDelete
  49. no thanks, i prefer my flouridated tap.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Mother of God...they have to be stopped.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Drinking it instantly makes you into a hipster douche bag!

    ReplyDelete
  52. this is getting crazy...they ran out of ideas?
    i knew when they descended to add playboy in ipad as apps.
    Next what? sanitarypads for women??

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh god I hope this is just a joke. Knowing me, I would probably buy one just for laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  54. "'Ok guys, I've got a great idea......Let's make water! We'll sell the same water, but with an aesthetically beautiful design and we'll sell it for double the price!' 'but Mr. Jobs, will that sell?' 'OF COURSE, BITCH! WE'RE APPLE, THAT'S WHAT WE DO!'"

    ReplyDelete
  55. this all sounds well and good but how does it feel when it exits the jimmy?

    ReplyDelete
  56. That sounds hilarious. Funny post.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Iwater...Nice...I cant wait to hop on the trendy bandwagon and purchase some!

    ReplyDelete
  58. LOL apparently this is old but works soo well. I'm sure some people would actually buy this shit xD.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Hahah! I would buy it! Just kidding. This is soo amazing, and true lol.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Haha some people would actually believe it!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Good sense of humor . Haha man I like it . Simple clean wet .

    ReplyDelete
  62. and suddenly
    half the world drinks apple water

    ReplyDelete
  63. Is this for real? I mean bottled water is obviously highly profitable, but Apple does not have core competencies in this market...

    ReplyDelete
  64. Also, should we take this as a sign that Apple is running out of ideas in their real market? I wonder how the market responded to this...

    ReplyDelete
  65. Wowwwwww, all i got to say lol

    ReplyDelete
  66. Anything with the Apple Brand! Admittedly I almost thought it was genuine, knowing Apple.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Far better than Windows water. That shit is riddled with viruses.

    ReplyDelete
  68. New WinWater 7 of Apples iWater...I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  69. try now the new microsoft lemonade, its better than apple's water

    ReplyDelete
  70. Real buisness. I wonder if it will half filled or just double prized.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Love the twice the hydrogen of oxygen. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Lol. I knew this had to be satire. Very clever. No way Apple, a company with an environmently safe label, would make bottled water.

    ReplyDelete
  73. props to whomever created the "ad" damn nice work.
    following m8

    ReplyDelete
  74. Apple water.

    Cool stuff for apple fags!

    ReplyDelete
  75. sad thing is that would actually sell

    ReplyDelete
  76. Appel is gonna dominate the world, one product at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I wonder how many hipsters are looking this up right now...

    ReplyDelete
  78. Nah, don't buy the Apple water. Stick with Microsoft. Although their water is a bit salty and tastes like dirt sometimes...

    ReplyDelete
  79. ...Joke right? Gotta be sure cuz it wouldn't suprise me these days lol

    ReplyDelete